


Sadie Minor

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cars, Crack, Gen, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:00:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28482771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: Lars needs a car. Sadie ends up helping out, in a very unintended way.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Sadie Minor

**Author's Note:**

> This was a weird commission I got on FurAffinity, which I decided to share here.

**Sadie Minor**

Lars Barriga was in a bad mood.

Sadie frowned as she stepped into his bakery - he was pacing back and forth, muttering crossly to himself, looking about as sour as she had ever seen him. What had happened now, she wondered? It couldn’t be Steven, they’d gotten on surprisingly well recently, so what could it be?

“Hey Lars,” she said, offering him a little wave, “what’s up?”

Lars turned and sat himself down behind the counter, visibly sulking.

“Dad’s car broke down,” he said.

“...and?” Sadie tilted her head.

“It means he has to use Mom’s!” snapped Lars. “Which means I don’t have anything to drive! That bites!”

Sadie blinked.

“You have a spaceship.”

“Yeah, but if I fly it up to Empire City, the cops start asking questions,” sighed Lars. “And Buck invited me up there this weekend, but if I can’t drive…”

He huffed.

“Maybe Steven will let me borrow the Dondai,” he muttered.

“Geez, Lars, I really wish I could help you,” said Sadie. “I mean, I don’t have a car either, and mom wouldn’t let me give you hers, but…”

She shrugged.

“Look, I’ll see what I can think of,” she said. “Maybe Greg can give you a lift up in the van.”

“Wouldn’t that be awkward?” asked Lars.

“What, riding with Greg?” Sadie chuckled. “Greg’s awesome.”

Lars pouted.

“Look, I’ll think about it,” he said.

“Well, let me know if you come up with anything,” Sadie replied. “Uh, anyway, I’ll have a bagel…”

* * *

Not long afterward, Sadie was stepping out onto the sidewalk, ready to start her walk home. In the back of her mind, she considered Lars’ situation, but she couldn’t really think of a way to help him - at least, nothing she could arrange.

She was just stepping onto the road when her eyes caught sight of something shimmering on the tarmac surface. She stepped over.

“Are those someone’s car keys?”

There was a pair of keys on a keyring, laying discarded on the ground. She knelt down - she couldn’t see a name or address on them.

“Someone must’ve dropped these coming out of the bakery,” she mused. “Better give ‘em to Lars in case they come back.”

She knelt down and picked up the keys. To her astonishment, they seemed to melt into the palm of her hand, leaving no trace that they were ever there.

“What in the-”

Suddenly, she lost her footing, landing face-first on the ground. She blinked away the dizziness and noticed that her feet felt extremely _weird_.

“Did my foot go to slee- _AAAH!_ ”

She jolted up involuntarily, now standing on all fours in the middle of the road. She tried to move her arms, but they wouldn’t respond - it was as if they were as rigid as steel. She looked backwards and gasped.

Her feet were shifting, turning round as they lost their definition. Her shoes melted away as the skin turned a rubbery black, and grooves formed on their surfaces. There was a _pop_ , and for a moment they felt hollow - then, with a flash of reflected sunlight, there were hubcaps in the middle of her feet; or more accurately, the tires that had been her feet.

“Oh my _god!_ ” exclaimed Sadie. “What’s happening?”

She looked down, just in time to see her hands undergo the same strange metamorphosis. As they did, her arms and legs began to turn a metallic grey, and began to thin out. Her shoulders moved, and she realised that they were turning into wheel axles and suspension parts. What remained of her shoulders arched and slotted into place above the ‘wheels’.

It was becoming increasingly obvious, insane though it was, what was happening.

“When I said I wanted to help Lars with his car problem,” snapped Sadie, “I didn’t mean like _this!_ ”

The mysterious force changing her didn’t listen. She felt her rear begin to inflate and change shape. The back of her jeans formed into a hatch, and she felt bizarrely empty beneath it, while the top of her butt shifted into a rounded square shape - she felt a window open up in the middle.

“Oh my god, this is so weee _EEEEP! BEEEEEP!_ ”

Sadie’s eyes shot down at her mouth. What had that been?

“...no,” she said. “No, I’m no- _BEEEP!_ I’m not turning into a f _BEEEP!_ ing car! He- _BEEEP! BEEEEEP!_ ”

Her torso warped, her spine curving as a pair of windows and doors formed on each side. Her neck disappeared, and then there came the astonishing feeling of her face being stretched. Her hair hardened, forming into the hood and the rest of the wheel arches, and before long, she was a human face juxtaposed on the front of a small car.

“ _BEEEP!_ ” she called out, unable to say much else. “ _BEEEP!_ ”

Her eyes widened, and she could no longer blink. Her teeth clenched together as her mouth stretched, turning to steel grills, and her nose formed into a builder’s logo. She let out one last desperate “ _BEEEEP!_ ” before finding she could do no more.

For a moment, a strange, Sadie-coloured automobile could be seen in the street. Then, which a slight flash, it turned a monotone light yellow colour, and all was silent.

The door opened, and Lars stepped out of the bakery.

“Geez, what the heck is with the noise?” he demanded.

He glanced at the car - there was a key in the door, and a little note stuck to the window. Lars walked over, taking it in; this certainly hadn’t been out here before.

_Lars - borrow me for the weekend! Yours, Sadie._

Lars pursed his lips, looking over the car. It was an old design, and he thought it was European (British, maybe?) - but it’d do.

“Eh,” he shrugged, “It’ll do.”

He climbed into the driver’s seat, stuck the key into the ignition and drove off; as he did so, Sadie felt her wheels rolling and engine rumbling, and found herself left to her thoughts.

 _Man_ , she thought, _I really hope this wears off on Monday…_


End file.
